Hello :)

Sorry I haven't blogged in literally, forever.

I wanted to make this blog "dedicated" to a big issue over the internet, I suppose you can already guess what it is.

Cyber-bullying, hate, coming across computer screens?

To broadcast yourself into such a huge world, to let people into your life, wether they know a lot about you or they don't know anything, it's a pit of hateful remarks, and such vulgar, even obscene comments, that's what you get.

But you have to remember that the criticism is one thing, and then there's bullshit that happens, where people start problems.

How do you tell them apart?

Criticism/advice would be something like this - "I'm not too crazy about this. I think you should have changed _____________" - That's someone's personal opinion/preference.

Bullshit hate would be NOTHING like that, it's more like - "GOD YOU F****** SUCK! get a life, that was a waste of my time. go die." - I'm sure you've all seen those before.

This is to the stupid people that put up ridiculous "arguments" on the internet.

If you don't have a substantial argument to put up, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Why are you even wasting your breath. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean you should tell people to "go die." And you're advising that they get help for THEIR problems?

You seem ignorant, and blatantly stupid. First off, learn how to argue, and secondly, why don't you get help yourself, there's obviously something wrong.

Love to the people with actual taste and intelligence - don't listen to those dumbshits.

Listen here.

I have a little rant to go on about.

Do NOT tell me to not complain on here. This is MY blog. If I'd like to "make a dumbass" of myself, then let me. Let me do it, should you care? Now, granted, you're aloud to hate my blog, dislike my talk, you don't HAVE to like my blog, you can share your opinions, I honestly like to hear them. But this is my blog, and I sometimes have things that I need to say, because if I keep those thoughts and problems inside me, then there's a BIG issue, and that's just the way it is with me. Feel free to tell me what you think, just don't be unreasonable and tell me that I "suck ass" that "I'm pathetic", cause then, it's not my problem, it's yours. :) Ya dig?

Random Writing.

i hate my mother for doing this to me. for making me so angry and hurt. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone before, ever. i hate her for making me hate her. i love her, but i hate her. i want her to stop blaming others for the fault of hers, how she's made me and is STILL making me so sad and angry inside. i think i want to live with my dad and lisa. i hate having to deal with being so sad all the time. i've done things that i can honestly say i regret, i want something different.

After hand, I'd like to apologize for no-capitalization, really un-professional! Also, this might sound weird, but it would make me robotic, and it would start to form into a story, which is surprisingly, NOT what I want! I'm doing free writing, so I can clear my mind easily.

Hello.

I'm doing better, but I'm still pretty down.

My friends are helping a lot, but school is making things a lot harder. I really am not liking some of my teachers, they're too expectant, when honestly, I'm really being as smart as I can! People annoy me, especially overly-expectant ones, and pushy people, and overly-optimistic people.

Debby - downer much? I think sooooo! :)

Find what makes it easy.

What is it that makes your life so easy?

What is your escape?

How do you get away from the problems?

I fight, right then and there, and I say whatever I want, not giving a shit about what the person thinks about me.

The people who run away are pathetic, wimpy.

Can't fight for themselves, have to run away from the problem because they can't take it.

I used to think being suicidal was really wimpy, like you were just running away from the problem, and, in a way, you are.

Until I started self mutilation, and I would hate to become a hypocrite.

But let me tell you a little something about cutting, or whatever self mutilation you're doing, it's ADDICTIVE.

Once you start, it's a ritual, that you can't control. I have 16 scars on my wrist, and when I stopped at 8 for a while, I promised that I would NEVER touch a blade again. Boy, was I wrong.

It was one day, and I just went crazy. I just couldn't find anything else.

So I cut again, and after, the pain was gone.

It's horrifying to imagine, and I never thought I would cut, but it's difficult, don't get into self mutilation, it's a tough thing to get out of.

Sickk... :(

I stayed home today due to almost puking a couple of times, and because of my dear, hahahahahaha, low blood sugar.

All day I was home, and always felt like I was going to faint, or puke.

Apparently food has become my "enemy" and I haven't been eating enough, so if I eat even a NORMAL portion of food, I feel like I'm going to vomit.

Take care of yourselves, people, don't develop a fear of food.

This probably wont make sense to you...

I want to admit that perfection is impossible, but I want so hard to also be perfect. And if perfect isn't real, why do we say "practice makes perfect" if perfect is a lie.

I want to be perfect. I want to be able to look in the mirror and say "hey, you're PERFECT."

Perfection is something everyone has dreamed of, so what is perfection if no one can accomplish it? Is it loving the way you are, and being the way YOU ARE, that makes people perfect? Or is it the logical side, where it comes down to (long story short), the fact that all human beings have a different image of perfection in their mind, so we all think different things are perfect? So what is perfection? If every "perfection" is different, what the hell is it?!

Anyone care to share what they think perfection is? What their image of perfection is? Is perfection something ANYONE or ANYTHING can accomplish?