I need to be honest.

I want to be able to wake up one day, and not feel like dying.

I want you to realize that I pretend I dialed the wrong number, just to hear your voice.

I look in the mirror, and pull up my shirt to measure my stomach with a measuring tape to see if I've lost a few inches around.

Sometimes, I sit in my room when I'm sad, or when we get in an argument, and wonder which knife I should use.

Other times, I take my necklace and use it as a way to communicate with Jimmy, just to see if he's forgiven me for whatever I've done.

I try to use fake tattoos to cover all the 8 scars on my inner wrist.

I pretended that the mirror fell on my hand, so no one would actually know that I punched it.

I say that I'm crying because I miss someone far away, to cover up the fact that I'm crying because of the fight I had with my mom.

Sometimes I want to fake my own death, just to see who comes to the funeral, and if they care.